Since time immemorial, the bond between siblings has been celebrated in stories, rituals, and memories. It’s a bond of secrets, squabbles, and silent understandings – a bond that asks for no grand gestures, only presence. But what happens when the means to express that presence, words, don’t come easily? In this fictional piece, Aditi gently unravels the unspoken yearning of a non-speaking autistic girl to be heard, felt, and remembered.
This is an Avaz Megaphone feature.
Udita was a happy nine year old girl, well that adjective pretty much summed up the state of her being for the first seven years of her life, when she felt seen, heard and understood by her family, even though she was a non speaking autistic. Years of speech therapy complemented with occupational therapy which involved massages around her mouth and repeated blowing and whistling, among other things, hadn’t helped much in enabling her to make speech sounds. What she did learn, though, was to use gestures and signs to communicate her needs and that helped; for she was able to communicate with her teachers as well, at school.
There were days when Udita wished she could talk like everyone around her – tell her mother that she cried and refused to eat the Upma because it was too salty, that Aarav at school teased her and said mean things about her and that she wanted an Avengers pencil box, just like Riddhi. But those days were fewer. For the most part, she felt understood.
Things began changing for Udita when she was seven. That was when her little sister, Neha, was born. Soon, life, as she knew it, was not the same anymore. Whoever knew that a baby so tiny came endowed with vocal chords attached to loudspeakers, one that she would put to best use at midnight? Udita wished she could tell her parents that the noise of the baby crying penetrated through her room door, keeping her awake all night. She wished she could tell her mother that she wanted her mother to spend more time with her, just like before. She wished she could tell her parents that she could not handle all this change – alas, she could say nothing. This made her very angry and soon, she was not the same happy Udita anymore!
A month became a year and soon it became two. Neha grew from strength to strength in these two years and assumed the title of the most talkative toddler on planet earth.
But what about Udita, the nine year old whose mind worked at jet speed, but whose mouth was as frozen as ice in the Arctic? Udita wanted to be the quintessential big sister; she wanted to talk to Neha, tell her ‘big sister’ things, pick up little fights, ask her to stop making noise and tell Neha that she loved her and most of all make her presence at home felt, like Neha did . If only she had a voice ..
‘Is it essential to talk to be heard ?’, wondered little Udita, the unofficial wallflower, who wanted to be anything but that.
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Author’s Note
This is probably a very familiar scenario for most of us non speakers. I have drawn on my own experiences to create this scenario. But what brought about a positive change for me was the fact that I was introduced to type to communicate on Avaz. Soon, I had a voice that I could call my own; one that helped me nurture relationships and build bonds .
August is the month that we celebrate Rakshabandhan – a festival celebrating sibling bonds – in India. What is a better time to consider introducing AAC to your non speaking child than now, for everyone deserves to experience the bond of love that only siblings can bring your way!
Avaz Megaphone is a platform for neurodivergent individuals to express themselves through the written word. We accept opinion pieces, short stories and poetry. Authors of accepted works will receive an honorarium. To make a submission please email us on: collaborate@avazapp.com
WRITTEN BY
Aditi Sowmyanarayan
Student & Writer
Aditi Sowmyanarayan is a nineteen year old who uses Avaz, a text to speech app, to communicate. She goes to Ishanya India Foundation, a special school in Bengaluru. Aditi is an avid blogger and an aspiring writer. She blogs on www.smallstepbigthought.blogspot.com
She can be reached on Instagram at writeaditi and on her Facebook page : small step big thought
